My Own Worst Enemy

Last week, a former resident of Murphy-Harpst came to speak to our older girls.  She's an author now and was a nurse for 30 years.  Before meeting with the girls, I had lunch with her and her husband and we were discussing the importance of writing your story.  She asked me if I was familiar with blogs and told me how much she enjoyed blogging about things.  I agreed, although I've found it a little difficult in the past month or so.  I always have things to say, and just to share about what happens in bible study each week would give me plenty of material.  I realized, though, that I share a lot of other people's stories, but I'm not always willing to share my own, especially when it's not fine and dandy.

So, honestly, it hasn't been fine and dandy recently.  The kids are doing well, my job is fine, my family and friends are wonderful, but I've not been all fine and dandy.

I realized on Monday that the only person who was keeping me from joy and fulfillment was myself.  It sounds silly and maybe a little crazy, but let me explain.  I was giving other people the right to determine my attitude, my emotions, and my joy.  And they weren't even making me feel bad.  I always tell the kids that it doesn't matter what someone does or says to you, but it does matter how you react.

WHERE IS THAT SIGN WHEN I NEED IT?

I was waking up, determined to just make it through the day, not expecting to have a good day, not trying to be patient and find joy, and looking for a reason to feel sorry for myself.  Let me tell you; if you look hard enough for the negative, you WILL find it.  It's there; nothing is perfect.  I became really focused on what was lacking in my life, instead of being filled with joy of the wonderful things that are present in my life.

This metaphor could be used in so many ways.
1.  It's hard to see the good when you're looking for the bad.
2.  It's hard to see God when you're looking for evil.
3.  It's hard to see what you have when you're searching for what you're missing.

I've gotten stuck on quotes and decided to turn my office door into a wall of quotes.  I thought that the kids and ME could benefit from being reminded of some of these little lessons.  One that I remember and seems relevant to my current revelation is this: "It is better to want what you have than to have what you want."

I've started looking at the things I have and learning to value them (or want them).  In bible study, we talked about how our perspective of what's important shifts when we become children of God.  When you start to look at heaven, it makes earthly things look less valuable.  When you have God's acceptance, you stop letting people's acceptance rule your life.

Maybe that's why money can't make you happy.  When you finally have enough money to buy anything in the world, those expensive things lose value.  It's cliche to say we want what we can't have, but the reality is that when you realize what God has given you, there's nothing greater to want.

I am my own worst enemy.  Life is good everyday, because no one else controls me.  I have the ability to experience great joy 365 days a year, because I know Jesus Christ.